Baby-Making

So, the fun continues. We both have a hard time performing on command, honestly. We're enjoying it when we do it, though. This is the third month. According to my calculations I can test on Thursday. I'm hopeful, even though the last week was very physically stressful. But I won't be crushed if it doesn't happen. I know this isn't always easy.

I'm also terrified that we're doing the wrong thing. As in, trying for a baby. A whole new wave of doubts has swallowed me up. I keep thinking we'd be terrible and miserable and start to hate each other. And mostly--ruin our child's life.

And don't get me started on certain people informing me that I am a cavalier and careless person if I don't have an abortion if my as-yet-unconceived child happens to have a birth defect. See below about the "story" about the kid who's having (allegedly) surgery without anesthesia. Jeez. I thought my mom was bad about saying unsupportive things. But also, that I wouldn't have thought through what it might be like to have a sick child. To be a sick child. I'm almost as insulted by being called thoughtless as I am as being told what I need to do. By someone who just doesn't understand my situation, or perhaps anyone's situation other than her own.

And who tells someone they need to have an abortion?!?